B, that the person who is being asked is self-aware and C, that the person who asked the question is willing to listen, right? And support what they hear.Īnd so, I think that’s why many of us go through life saying, how’s it going? And then we say fine. This question, how are you feeling? It can be a loaded question, right? Because there’s assumptions made, right? That A, the person asking really cares. Not that everybody wants to listen, which is getting at your question really. And so, I’m glad I have a sophisticated emotional vocabulary so I can communicate effectively. Angry at a lot of things, sad at other things, anxious about other things. I feel right now in my life, I’m chronically overwhelmed. I have to say, I am personally, emotionally all over the place. MARC BRACKETT: All right, that’s going to take the whole hour. And maybe you could explain what that is and why it’s important to be specific. Well, how are you Marc? And of course, I asked that, I should probably ask maybe where you are on the mood meter right now. His book, Permission to Feel is one of my favorites. He is the lead developer of RULER, an evidence-based approach to social and emotional learning that’s been adopted by nearly 2,000 schools globally. Marc Brackett PhD is the founder and director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a professor in the Child Study Center of Yale University. The unresolved business from your past, as we’ll hear from Marc Brackett today, is present and relevant to how we all work in lead. When an interaction or a situation sets you off, examine why. When unemployment numbers skyrocket, you might feel nauseous and unable to focus, even though you still have a job and nothing in your life has changed. You might notice that your stomach flips or you feel a feeling of dread when you see a certain word, or someone’s name pop up in your inbox. You may recall my interview with Afghan war veteran, Jason Kander, who talked about his inability to sit down with anyone in back of him at a restaurant, for example, until he got treatment for his PTSD.īut in smaller ways, many of us are being set off all day long and re-enacting bad habits or old defense mechanisms with our teams and at work. It could be a smell, a sound, a sight, another person’s actions that triggers feelings of trauma. And although we use the term colloquially, in psychological terms, a trigger is something intense. We’re triggered consciously and unconsciously all the time at work. Marc has a lot of triggers based on his upbringing. Perhaps my favorite moment in today’s interview is when our guest Marc Brackett admits that people with entitled attitudes really, really set him off. How they fell down, how they pick themselves up and how they hope workplaces can change in the future. We look at stories from business leaders who’ve dealt with anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges. MORRA AARONS MELE: I’m Morra Aarons-Mele, and this is The Anxious Achiever. The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Harvard Business Review or its affiliates. HBR Presents is a network of podcasts curated by HBR editors, bringing you the best business ideas from the leading minds in management. He urges leaders to learn to understand themselves and their teams using a Mood Meter, a tool he developed to help people explain their emotions. Marc Brackett, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, says that many managers and leaders misunderstand what emotional intelligence really means – despite the trendiness of the phrase.
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